Asia for Dummies

We thought long and hard about skipping Singapore. We didn't know quite what to expect from the tiny island nation, and didn't want to wind up getting caned for smuggling chewing gum over the border. Still, it seemed like too much of an enigma to miss, so we thought we'd take a chance.



We weren't disappointed. Malaysia may be Asia's melting pot, but Singapore is its New York, the Bronx and Brooklyn where every culture imaginable interacts in claustrophobic proximity. The results could easily be disastrous, but thanks to a paternalistic government that stresses multiculturalism while strictly enforcing order, the place hums along like Disney's Small World ride, everyone singing and smiling in almost mechanical unison.



For a visitor or an ex-patriot businessman, Singapore has immense appeal. The streets are safe at three in the morning, the trains run on time, you can drink the tap water, and there isn't a scrap of garbage in sight. If it's available anywhere in the world, it's available for purchase in Singapore. The art museum is among the best in Asia, and free. The ethnic neighborhoods are like wonderland versions of their parent nations. In Little India, for example, the food rivaled Jaipur's best and the bazaars teemed with Delhi's latest - but without the homeless street cows feeding on mountains of trash, the incessantly aggressive hawkers, the lepers at our feet. As one American ex-pat told us, "I love this place. Everything's here, but without the stress. It's like Asia for dummies!"



We had a wonderful time, but few illusions about the trade-offs involved. Singapore is something of a living shrine to free-market capitalism, but also one of the world's least democratic places. Numerous offenses, including vandalism, are punished by caning. Chewing gum is illegal, jaywalking carries a $1,000 fine, and drug smugglers are executed. At the same time, very little of that heavy-handedness seems to be necessary at this point. Police presence is minimal, unobtrusive, polite and professional. For the most part, deterrence is working. Whatever your view on the compromises involved, so is Singapore.

Truly Asia

We're guessing that there's almost nobody left who hasn't seen Malaysia's catchy tourism ad campaign, Malaysia: Truly Asia. We caught ourselves singing it a little too often as we made our way through the country, usually whenever something went slightly wrong. We're still not sure quite what "truly Asia" means, but we're forced to concede that they may have a point. Malaysia turns out to be an astonishing continental melting pot, blending ethnicities, cuisines, languages and religions in unexpected and wonderful ways.

Our first stop after crossing the border was the port city of Georgetown, Malaysia's second largest city after Kuala Lampur. The city's architecture is an ecclectic mix of English, Chinese, Malay and Indian influences. Indian roti carts and tandoor joints compete with cheap Chinese pig organ soup, British pubs dispensing fish and chips, Malay-run hamburger stands and Islamic diners. One afternoon, we came upon a Chinese temple (pictured above) where huge crowds had gathered to petition their ancestors for good luck, or "joss," in the coming year. Meanwhile, outside on the sidewalk, wealthy Chinese families dispensed oranges and red envelopes full of cash to all comers. Hindus lined up for their share, then paid homage with the same joss sticks to a sacred tree adorned with images of their pantheon. We watched the commotion for an hour, then headed off for a pint of Guinness, some Malasian barbecue and the latest Bollywood movie.





In the midst of this cultural hodgepodge, common ground can be surprisingly easy to find. Our last night in town, we befriended a 16-year-old Malay-Chinese Muslim girl on the ferry, and accepted her offer to visit her home. She was full of questions (something we've become used to), but not about where we came from. How did we meet? How did we fall in love? How did we know we were right for one another? Is her boyfriend right for her? How can she tell? How can she get him to be more romantic? IS HE THE ONE?? She never took off her headscarf around us, but she was careful to put on her makeup before we left to meet her boyfriend for dinner.



Our next stop in Malaysia was Kuala Lampur, a teeming modern capitol and emerging economic center. The ethnic neighborhoods were full of hawkers and street merchants, food stalls and fake watches, but there was no mistaking the gleam of the financial district's towers above it all. We slurped cheap noodles on the sidewalk while gazing up at the world's tallest building, contemplating Asia's complicated, headlong economic rise.



From Kuala Lampur, we headed down the coast to the historic city of Melaka. One of Portugal's original trade hubs in Asia, the city was the brightest star in Asia's economic sky until Portugese and Dutch dominance in the Pacific passed to England and Singapore rose to prominance. Today, its a quaint city of old Dutch houses and forts, with a vibrant Chinese district we were lucky to discover in the midst of Chinese New Year. Built by prosperous Chinese traders in the 19th century, the district is a unique blend of European and Chinese architectural styles.

Sleeping with the Fishes

It seems incredible, but we managed to spend almost two months in SE Asia without even seeing a beach. Determined to rectify this madness, we made a beeline for the white sand and coral reefs of Ko Tao, a tiny island in the Gulf of Thailand. There's no cultural or historic significance to the place, and it's become one of the most popular diving destinations in the world. No off-the-beaten-path stories here. We came to Ko Tao to simply a place to relax and enjoy the ocean, and weren't disappointed.

We spent five full days diving the island's coral reefs, and our evenings watching the sun going down over the breakers. Susannah learned to dive in Seattle, in JANUARY, so this was a wonderful introduction to tropical waters. Fish everywhere, and no hypothermia. The diving was fantastic, and we were notably lucky on a few occasions. We followed a sea turtle as it cruised around the reef one afternoon, and spotted a huge number of exotic fish, eels and invertebrates. On a night dive, luminescent plankton flashed like lightening as our bubbles rose to the surface. The climax of the trip was a 90-foot dive on Chumphon Pinnacle, a depth record for both of us. Less than a minute after we reached the bottom, we were circled by no less than five Bull Sharks, cruising by less than a meter away. Though normally among the most dangerous sharks in the world, the bulls of Chumphon are famously accepting of human intrusion. Somehow, that fact didn't help us breathe any slower.